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| Georges Rouault, Christ and the Apostles, 1937-8 |
Hello and
welcome to this week’s Start:Stop reflection from St Stephen Walbrook, my name
is Phillip Dawson.
Decisions, decisions! Before the lockdown, one newspaper reported that we each make up to 35,000 decisions every day. Sounds a bit far-fetched to me – but whatever the figure, I imagine it’s considerably lower at the moment. It may be no exaggeration to say that at the present time, life and death decisions are being made by those with responsibility for our health and wellbeing. Decisions which, for the most part, are outside of our control. Decisions which are certainly having an impact on people living in the poorest countries in the world; supporting whom is the focus of this year’s Christian Aid Week appeal, which continues until Saturday.
Decisions, decisions! Before the lockdown, one newspaper reported that we each make up to 35,000 decisions every day. Sounds a bit far-fetched to me – but whatever the figure, I imagine it’s considerably lower at the moment. It may be no exaggeration to say that at the present time, life and death decisions are being made by those with responsibility for our health and wellbeing. Decisions which, for the most part, are outside of our control. Decisions which are certainly having an impact on people living in the poorest countries in the world; supporting whom is the focus of this year’s Christian Aid Week appeal, which continues until Saturday.
On
Thursday, the church celebrates the life of St Matthias. Virtually all we know
about him is from a few short passages in Acts of the Apostles, which I’m about
to read. This tells us that he’d been a loyal follower of Jesus right from the
start, as had another man, Justus. Faced with the task of selecting a
replacement after the death of Judas, the eleven remaining apostles found they could
not decide between Matthias and Justus, so they prayed to the Lord, before
casting lots. The rest, as they say, is history - or perhaps 'unknown' history
in the case of Matthias.
Bible
Reading – Acts 1:15-26
In those
days Peter stood up among the believers (together the crowd numbered about one
hundred and twenty people) and said, ‘Friends, the scripture had to be
fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit through David foretold concerning Judas, who
became a guide for those who arrested Jesus— for he was numbered among us and
was allotted his share in this ministry.’ (Now this man acquired a field with
the reward of his wickedness; and falling headlong, he burst open in the middle
and all his bowels gushed out. This became known to all the residents of
Jerusalem, so that the field was called in their language Hakeldama, that is,
Field of Blood.) ‘For it is written in the book of Psalms,
“Let his
homestead become desolate,
and let there be no one to live in it”;
and
“Let
another take his position of overseer.”
So one of
the men who have accompanied us throughout the time that the Lord Jesus went in
and out among us, beginning from the baptism of John until the day when he was
taken up from us—one of these must become a witness with us to his
resurrection.’ So they proposed two, Joseph called Barsabbas, who was also
known as Justus, and Matthias. Then they prayed and said, ‘Lord, you know
everyone’s heart. Show us which one of these two you have chosen to take the
place in this ministry and apostleship from which Judas turned aside to go to
his own place.’ And they cast lots for them, and the lot fell on Matthias; and
he was added to the eleven apostles.
Reflection
Writing
in the New York Times, the psychologist Roy Baumeister said “the best decision
makers are the ones who know when not to trust themselves….That’s why the truly
wise don’t restructure a company at 4pm, or make major commitments during
cocktail hour…and if a decision must be made late in the day, they know not to
do it on an empty stomach.”
The
apostles – those “witnesses to the resurrection” as St Peter described them –
seemed to be well aware of their own fallibility. Whilst they had discerned,
using their knowledge of the scriptures, that Matthias and Justus both
fulfilled the requirements to replace Judas as the twelfth apostle, they
entrusted the final decision to the Lord, who knows what is written on
everyone’s heart.
Whilst we remember that Matthias was appointed as a result of prayer followed by the drawing lots – one of the few things we do know about him – the fact that we know anything at all is precisely because these “witnesses to the resurrection” had begun to develop a track-record in putting their trust in the Lord.
As James Alison reminds us in his book ‘Knowing Jesus’, these “witnesses to the resurrection” had gathered together in those dangerous days after their close friend had suffered a brutal death, in a climate of fear in which both political and religious leaders looked on them with suspicion. As these “witnesses to the resurrection” came together on that first Easter Sunday and over the days and weeks that followed, they embraced their fear and trusted in the extraordinary experiences of their resurrection encounters with Jesus. The book of Acts, from which we have just read - and indeed the whole of the New Testament – is their witness to His resurrection. Had they not put their trust in the Lord, there would be no Good News for us to share. There would be no basis for our faith.
But not all had the strength to be able to let go of their desire for self-control and put their trust in God; Judas’s lack of trust is the reason there was a vacancy at the top-table for Matthias in the first place - a vacancy that was filled not only as a result of his faithfulness and trust in the Lord, but that of all his colleagues too - all of whom had doubted and deserted Jesus not that long before, one famously denying Him three times.
Whilst we remember that Matthias was appointed as a result of prayer followed by the drawing lots – one of the few things we do know about him – the fact that we know anything at all is precisely because these “witnesses to the resurrection” had begun to develop a track-record in putting their trust in the Lord.
As James Alison reminds us in his book ‘Knowing Jesus’, these “witnesses to the resurrection” had gathered together in those dangerous days after their close friend had suffered a brutal death, in a climate of fear in which both political and religious leaders looked on them with suspicion. As these “witnesses to the resurrection” came together on that first Easter Sunday and over the days and weeks that followed, they embraced their fear and trusted in the extraordinary experiences of their resurrection encounters with Jesus. The book of Acts, from which we have just read - and indeed the whole of the New Testament – is their witness to His resurrection. Had they not put their trust in the Lord, there would be no Good News for us to share. There would be no basis for our faith.
But not all had the strength to be able to let go of their desire for self-control and put their trust in God; Judas’s lack of trust is the reason there was a vacancy at the top-table for Matthias in the first place - a vacancy that was filled not only as a result of his faithfulness and trust in the Lord, but that of all his colleagues too - all of whom had doubted and deserted Jesus not that long before, one famously denying Him three times.
As James
Alison explains, it’s easy for us to see St Peter as the ‘goody’ disciple and
Judas as the ‘baddy’ who hanged himself in shame over what he’d done – but
reminds us that both betrayed Jesus. But difference between Judas and Peter was
that Judas failed to trust in the possibility of the Lord’s forgiveness. It was
this failure to put his trust in the Lord - and not his betrayal of him - which
proved to be Judas’s ‘terminal sin’.
Like
Matthias, most of us will not have our full life histories recorded for
posterity - but, like Matthias, perhaps it is no bad thing for us to be
remembered primarily as a result of a decision. Maybe that's all anyone needs
to know about us? When we think of Matthias it is tempting to think first of
this selection as an apostle by the casting of lots - because we know so little
else about him. But I don’t think that is the most important decision we know
about his life.
Amidst
the thousands, perhaps millions of decisions we’ve made in our lives, the most
important was surely the decision we made at our baptism, to turn to Christ as
Saviour and to trust him as Lord. To become witnesses to His resurrection.
Are we
living up to that promise?
Prayer
I’ll end this week’s reflection with a prayer written by Bishop Ken Untener in 1979 but known as the ‘Oscar Romero’ Prayer. It was written to commemorate the legacy of departed priests, but I think the text speaks to all of us who struggle to let go of our urge for self-control – and find it easy to forget our baptismal promise to trust in the Lord.
I’ll end this week’s reflection with a prayer written by Bishop Ken Untener in 1979 but known as the ‘Oscar Romero’ Prayer. It was written to commemorate the legacy of departed priests, but I think the text speaks to all of us who struggle to let go of our urge for self-control – and find it easy to forget our baptismal promise to trust in the Lord.
A
Future Not Our Own
It helps,
now and then, to step back and take a long view.
The
kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is
even beyond our vision.
We
accomplish in our lifetime
only a
tiny fraction
of the
magnificent enterprise
that is
God's work.
Nothing
we do is complete,
which is
another way of saying
that the
Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No
statement says all that could be said.
No prayer
fully expresses our faith.
No
confession brings perfection.
No
pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No
programme
accomplishes
the Church's mission.
No set of
goals and objectives
includes
everything.
That is
what we are about.
We plant
a seed that will one day grow.
We water
seeds already planted,
knowing
that they hold future promise.
We lay
foundations
that will
need further development.
We
provide yeast that produces effects
far
beyond our capabilities.
We cannot
do everything,
and there
is a sense of liberation
in
realising that.
This
enables us to do something,
and to do
it very well.
It may be
incomplete,
but it is
a beginning,
a step
along the way,
an
opportunity for the Lord's grace
to enter
and do the rest.
We may
never see the end results,
but that
is the difference
between
the master builder and the worker.
We are
workers, not master builders,
ministers,
not messiahs.
We are
prophets of a future not our own.
(The ‘Romero Prayer’ by Bishop Ken Untener)
(The ‘Romero Prayer’ by Bishop Ken Untener)
Blessing
May God
bless us with discomfort at easy answers
so that
we may have the courage to search deeply in our hearts for truth
May God
bless us with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation
so that
we will work for justice, equality and peace.
May God
bless us with the foolishness to think we can make a difference in the world
so that
we accomplish things others tell us cannot be done.
And may the blessing of God Almighty,
And may the blessing of God Almighty,
the
Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit
be among
us and remain with us this day
and
always
Amen.
(Adapted from ‘Paradox Blessing,’ Celtic Daily Prayer, Book Two)
(Adapted from ‘Paradox Blessing,’ Celtic Daily Prayer, Book Two)
Thank you for joining me for this week’s Start:Stop reflection. Please join us every Wednesday at 9am for Morning Prayer by free telephone conference call and check out our website for our weekly Sung Eucharist which you can follow online. We are delighted that Choral Classics has returned, with fifteen minutes of divine Choral Music every Monday lunchtime at 1pm. Catch up with recent editions online. Start Stop will return next week.
Links
Knowing Jesus – James Alison – SPCK Classics
Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue? New York Times 17th August 2011
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